November Gratitude Spotlight: Destiny Fore
November is National Adoption Month and National Gratitude Month. During this month, we wanted to highlight a Ties alumni from this past year who embodied these themes.
Destiny trying on a top with traditional Kazah designs.
Please introduce yourself to the Ties community! What are things that make you unique? What are your interests?
My name is Destiny/Anel (she/her). I am 26 years old and I currently live in Portsmouth, Virginia. I am a transracial adoptee born in Kazakhstan in the province of Taraz.
What makes me unique is my passion for Social Work and forming authentic connections with other adoptees on their journey - being a representation and mirror for others that I didn’t have early on as an Asian and Kazakh person.
My interests are hiking, reading, thrifting, playing volleyball, and getting coffee with friends.
What inspired you to apply for the Gift of Identity grant and join the Ties Program to return to your country of birth?
Destiny riding a horse, on the heritage-packed Yurt day.
I was inspired to join the Ties Program through another transnational adoptee, who shared a picture of an Instagram post about this amazing opportunity to return to their birth country with a group of adoptees. I began researching and received information about the Gift of Identity Fund, which was ideal for me as a recent graduate. I do not have financial support from my adoptive parents, either, so this was the only viable option for me.
At a young age, due to my lack of support surrounding my identity from my adoptive parents, I knew I wanted to go on this trip without them, but I also felt too overwhelmed to go alone, so I’m glad I found Ties. Alongside the GOI, I used crowdfunding through GoFundMe to cover the majority of the trip costs. I was deeply touched by the overwhelming support I received from my friends and community, both financially and emotionally, as I embarked on my journey to reconnect with my roots.
What was the most meaningful part of your trip to your birth country?
The most meaningful part of my trip to Kazakhstan was the night when a Kazakh family hosted us for a traditional dinner. This memory holds great significance for me: the family was so sweet and welcoming. They took the time to get to know me, despite the language barrier, and asked me questions about myself. They asked me if I had reconnected with my birth family, and when I said “No”, without hesitation, they responded, “That’s okay, you are a part of our family now”. Tears filled my eyes as they flooded me with hugs and kisses. I felt so seen and accepted by people who looked like me. It was a very validating and heartwarming experience that I will cherish and remember for the rest of my life.
How has the Gift of Identity grant and traveling with the Ties Program changed the way you think about identity, culture, or connection?
Destiny is all smiles while exploring her province, Taraz.
The Gift of Identity grant and traveling with Ties have changed the way I think about connection. I did not connect with my birth family while I was in Kazakhstan, but I made so many lasting connections within the country outside of our Ties group. I was nervous about how I would be perceived in Kazakhstan, but I blended in a way I never had in the US, surrounded by people who looked like me. Everyone I interacted with was so kind and welcoming, despite the language barrier. Ties provided a safety net with the staff and tour group to explore and get the most out of the trip, including exposure to food, clothing, customs, and more. For me, that meant connecting with Kazakh culture and people.
What is one tip you would share with other adoptees from your birth country on how to have an amazing time in your birth country? What would you say to another adoptee or family considering a heritage journey like this?
One tip I would share with other adoptees from Kazakhstan on how to have an amazing time is to be open. Be open to new experiences and with the people on the trip. It’s definitely overwhelming at times, with numerous activities planned. Take time to do what’s best for you. Don’t be afraid to miss out on events to take care of yourself.
I also went on this trip alone, and if anyone is considering going alone, I recommend doing it! For me, it was freeing and empowering to go alone and not feel like I had to take care of anyone else or feel pressure from others about what I “should” be doing. My adoption-competent therapist recommended that, since I was going alone, I ask friends closest to me to write letters to help ground me and remind me of the support I have, rather than focusing on the lack thereof. It helped me so much, and I would recommend that to any solo traveling adoptee.
Destiny poses with the pigeons in Almaty, Kazakhstan in front of Zenkov Orthodox Church.
Would you recommend the Gift of Identity grant to adoptees who are looking to travel to their birth country?
I highly recommend the Gift of Identity grant to all adoptees seeking to travel to their birth country. Finances are a huge barrier for many adoptees wanting to experience their birth country and I know it was a massive barrier for me. There’s no shame in asking for help through grants and GoFundMe for meaningful and impactful experiences, such as traveling to your birth country. Having this grant and financial assistance helps adoptees focus on their emotions and complex feelings without the financial burden. It’s difficult to ask for help, and it’s incredible to see how many people are willing and able to help when you are vulnerable and open with your trusted community. We all deserve to go back to our birth country if we want and have funds available to help support us in getting there.
Gift of Identity is the 510(c)3 arm of The Ties Program. Gift of Identity provides grants to adoptees traveling on our Signature and Lite programs. Reach out to your program manager for details or visit Gift of Identity for more details.