📍 Kolkata, India → Portland. Oregon
Instagram: @kara8608
TikTok: @karachristine86

A Life Full of Heart

For Kara Griffey, a South Asian adoptee raised in Oregon, going to India was never just a dream—it was a lifelong intention. Born in Kolkata in March 1986 and adopted that same year, Kara grew up surrounded by love, creativity, and a quiet, growing desire to better understand the place where her story began.

Now living in the Portland suburbs, Kara has built a life full of meaning and heart. “I’ve worked in the nonprofit industry since 2008, dedicating my work to raising funds for the causes that most deeply impact others,” she shares. “Currently, I work for a nonprofit animal hospital.”

Outside of work, she enjoys painting whimsical clouds, gardening in a pollinator-friendly yard, and exploring Portland’s food and drink scene with her husband of over 20 years and their 17-year-old dog, Maya. “I love arts and cultural events, pink is my favorite color (and any jewel tone), I’m a HUGE Swiftie, and I am committed to my local community!”

On Being an Adoptee in the AANHPI Community

“Being an adoptee has always been a point of joy and pride to me, even among the complexity of what it means to be an adopted person,” Kara says. “I love the beautiful, rich, and COLORFUL culture I am from, so being part of the AANHPI community feels SO special. I relate a lot to the traditions, holidays, and joy that Indian culture has!”

For much of her life, she loved the vibrancy of Indian culture—its colors, music, and traditions—but felt a disconnect. “To be in love with a culture I’ve had no memory of is hard to explain,” she says. “Returning from my recent Ties trip, however, has helped me feel deeply connected, and that the cultural part of who I am is, in fact, a real part. It’s grounded. It’s not imagined or too out of reach.”

A Diary Entry That Meant Everything

Kara’s desire to visit India wasn’t something that came and went—it was something that lived in her for decades. “Going to India has been on my radar my entire life,” she says. “Though I don’t know how out loud I ever was about expressing that to others, I’ve always been curious and have had pride in my birth country.”

When she found The Ties Program, Kara said to her husband, “I HAD to go—there was no option for my life other than experiencing India firsthand.”

She later found a diary entry from when she was 14 that made everything even clearer. “I found a diary entry I wrote on my life goals list. Of 25, India was Number 2 (just behind getting married), and Number 3 was to see the Taj Mahal. This solidified how important this trip was for me to feel whole, connected, and that my start wasn’t just an idea—but concrete.”

“This trip wasn’t for ‘fun’ or merely curiosity,” she adds. “It felt essential to my well-being.”

Homecoming Through Heritage Travel

*Kara at the Taj Mahal, India Ties 2024*

One of the most emotional moments of the trip was seeing the Taj Mahal in person. “That was the place I most deeply connected with as being from my birth country as a child,” she says. “I had posters of the Taj in my room; I showed it to my friends. It was overwhelming and emotional to see.”

Another unforgettable moment was seeing the Indian flag flying in the sky. “I had a small 4x6 flag of India in my room growing up. I even took it to college. To see it REAL so big, IN India, was this unreal moment. My little flag, flying as a large, official flag IN the country. It was incredible—as if that moment had been with me in some way my whole life, but just came to real life.”

Finding Belonging in Adoptee Community

“Traveling with other adoptees was AMAZING,” Kara says. “I don’t think in my entire 39 years I’ve ever explored my adoptee identity WITH other adoptees, more than I did in that two weeks.”

The connections she made during the trip have lasted far beyond their time in India. “To have these bonds is everything. To have been home for several months now, spent time in person with folks from my cohort, and spent time video calling has been incredible. It’s truly a community I didn’t know I wanted, OR that I needed.”

“Growing up, I felt I never needed to be in community with other adoptees—because that could be a weakness, or that somehow I hadn’t ‘moved on’ or ‘adjusted enough,’” she adds. “Now I realize it’s not only wanted—it’s an integral part of who I am, and I need that connection not just sometimes, but for a lifetime.”

Staying Connected to Her Culture

Since returning home, Kara has embraced simple ways of staying connected. “I’ve been able to wear my bangles, ALL the time and everywhere,” she says. “I also have enjoyed grabbing Indian food with friends and sharing stories.”

“Recently, a few of us got together to celebrate Holi in Portland and go to Indian food. To see the people I traveled with—knowing last time I hugged them was in Delhi—felt like an indescribable joy to see them in the States and do something related to our community.”

Words for Fellow Adoptees

Kara reflects often on how her identity has shifted over time, and what she wishes others understood about being an adoptee within the AANHPI community.

“I don’t think I ever considered not having ties to my ethnic and racial groups a loss,” she says, “but over time, I do see the grief in not having that—and it’s okay to have those feelings of loss.”

“Also, that feeling of connection or disconnect can ebb and flow—and that’s okay. There might be times of deep connection to both the adoptee and cultural identity, and other times where it’s more distant. I think it is forever evolving.”

To fellow adoptees, Kara offers this:
“The journey is incredibly nuanced, and there is room and space for everything. There’s room for both loss and happiness—the sense of deep love AND rejection. A passion for the life you have now, and the weight of the mystery of what it would have been. There’s space for it all. It’s never one or the other, and sitting in that space—while hard—is okay. It’s okay to acknowledge the gray space in between.”

AANHPI Heritage Month Spotlight: Kara Griffey