Mental Health Awareness Month: Unspoken Adoptee Stressors — Part 2: The Weight of the Narrative

Adoptees, Their Loved Ones, and Mental Health

Adoptees and their loved ones often face a unique set of mental health challenges that can affect their everyday lives, relationship, and experiences. As part of Mental Health Awareness Month The Ties Program is addressing three unspoken stressors that often affect adoptees and their loved ones. In part one we covered Ghost Kingdoms. Today, we'll cover the narrative burden.

What is Narrative Burden?

Few groups of people are asked more questions about their life stories than adoptees and their loved ones. Why were you adopted? Why did you adopt? Where are your biological parents? Or worse, who are their “real” parents? Where are you from? These are just a few of the many questions asked of adoptees and their loved ones. While many times these questions come from a place of loving curiosity, they don’t always feel that way. 

It’s very possible that the answers to all these questions are, I/we don’t know. Some adoptees may have some vague details; For example, “I was found on a street corner in India, a place I don’t remember and haven’t been to since.”

These questions not only place the burden on adoptees and their loved ones to explain themselves, they force them to question their very existence, and to explain their existence to others. Repeatedly answering these deep, personal questions can be exhausting in ways that are hard to describe - some might be dismissive or challenge what you know about your story. There are subtle and overt reactions that adoptees must learn to navigate when telling these intimate parts of their story to a wide audience.

Lightening the Load

First, acceptance. The questions are going to come. As humans we are naturally curious and asking questions is often how we build connection. But acceptance doesn’t mean you have to answer the questions, if you don’t want to. It’s okay to redirect the conversation.

Second, surround yourself with people who have similar narratives where you don’t have to explain yourself. Seek families that look like yours through community groups, support groups, culture camps, and, yes, heritage trips.

Lifting the Burden and Heritage Travel

There’s a remarkable thing that happens on Ties heritage trips, because everyone shares a similar origin story, no one asks why your family looks the way it does. No one asks about biological parents. Therefore, no one is asked to carry the burden of the narrative story. In this is freedom, connection, and community.

A reminder that If you didn’t see our post on Ghost Kingdoms to check that out. Next up, we’ll cover Adoptee Loyalty and the Push and Pull of Belonging.

In recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, we want to highlight the importance of caring for your emotional well-being. Healing and exploration are deeply personal—and it's okay to seek help along the way. If you find yourself needing support, please know you're not alone. We encourage you to explore our Adoptee Resources and our Family Resources for tools, support, and connection tailored to your journey.