More Than a Return: Reflections from India Ties Kolkata Travelers
Before leaving India, we sat down with the tour members for India Ties Kolkata and asked them what the journey was like for them - what made them travel with Ties, how the trip has impacted their relationships to themselves and their families and if they would recommend a Ties tour to anyone considering it. Excerpts have been edited for clarity.
What drew you to take a heritage journey and why now?
Michelle and her sister, Myleah, at Amer Fort in Jaipur
Michelle, adoptee: It's been a couple of years that I've been wanting to go back. I turned 40 and I finished my studies and I lost my job all at the same time - it just seemed like a perfect moment to do something for me, to take some time for me, and maybe to redefine, think about who I am. And I realized that in order to do that, I needed to know a little bit more about where I came from. And it just felt like a right time. I mean, there's never a right time: I've got two kids, got a lot going on, never a right time. But the more and more I thought about it, the more and more I thought the time is now.
What impact has this trip had on how you see yourself, your identity, or your story?
Lizzie, adoptee: This trip has given me more of a sense of pride in who I am. I feel like visiting this country has been so important to me. I've wanted to do it for a long time. I used to feel a lot of shame about being Indian or being born in India. I had maybe a negative impression of India growing up. I didn't know a lot about India growing up, and I had false impressions about India growing up. But by taking this trip and visiting my birthplace, as well as other cities in this country, exposed me to so many things I didn't know about India, and I've learned a lot about this country. I'm very happy that I took this trip.
Michelle, adoptee: This trip has had a huge impact in only two weeks on how I see myself. I think I came over here with a narrative that had been told to me. The narrative of adoption, of being grateful, and being here has given me this space to create my own narrative and to see it for myself. Yeah, and the option to, maybe not the option, but the opportunity and the possibility to see where I was born, to see this country, to see India through my own eyes, as opposed to through the eyes of how I've been raised to see this country as a poor country, as sick and dying children, poverty, to see it for what it is today. It's an amazing country, and I'm actually really proud to be from here.
Molly, adoptee: This trip has really shaped both my identity and my story because I was able to change my narrative… The community, the trip, the people, it's really changed me in a way that I'm more connected. Places where I felt lost in the United States, I now feel whole.
What was most meaningful or eye-opening about this experience for you personally or for your relationship with your children?
The Houbregs - Bob, Alex, Toni, and Hannah
Bob and Toni, adoptive parents: The thing that surprised me first was how important this was to the adoptees once they got here and began to experience this. Initially, I think for us it was almost a sightseeing trip, but to come here and experience their roots, where they came from, to be with other adoptees was so powerful. It really was eye-opening.
And I think they felt a closeness with the other adoptees. And I think this is something that's going to be lifelong relationships with these young people. And I think our kids will value that for the rest of their lives.
I didn't realize until we got here how important it was going to be for our kids to experience this with other people who have gone through it. It was apparent from the first day we got here, just the connection and the power of this experience for our kids.
And with our daily visits with one another and our group sessions were valuable. I mean, it was wonderful to have the parents and the adoptees separated so that they could share what they wanted to share and we could too.
And I think it gave them all an opportunity to feel comfortable to share whatever they wanted. And it really, it was very educational, like I say. I think it was so well done and it was the only way to come here was with the Ties Program and the group of people that have organized it.
What was most meaningful or eye-opening about this experience for you personally or for your relationship?
Molly and Jason Wells
Jason, partner to an adoptee: Probably the most meaningful thing in eye-opening that I got was seeing how adoptions were done in the country and seeing different areas where they're trying to improve that and make that sequence better, but hearing stories of how bad it was for adoptees was really eye-opening for me. I did not know that it was that bad. I did not know that there was those other things going on, so learning about that really opened my eyes and then being able to visit and see other areas that are currently trying to improve that and keep the culture in with these kids as they grow up was really nice to learn that and know that it's not just, "Hey, here's the way it was," and it's going to continue that path that it's starting to see a change for better going into the future.
One of the biggest things I would probably say is it has really brought me a lot closer to my wife. Our relationship has gotten so much stronger. So for those thinking about going on a trip like this, it's going to really allow you to make your relationship better with your child, with your wife, with your significant other. When you come on these trips, it makes it so beneficial to learn about that culture and have that understanding of them and being able to have those conversations on the line and not be in the dark.
What was it like experiencing the Ties? Would you recommend it to others? And why?
The 2026 India Ties Kolkata group the firs few days of the trip.
Lizzie, adoptee: Being with other adoptees on this trip gave me a very good sense of comfort, knowing that other people had the same start as me at the beginning of their lives. Other adoptees I'd never really encountered in growing up, so knowing that there are other people around me with the same start was very comforting. And we were able to discuss how we were feeling very openly and honestly if we chose to.
Michelle, adoptee: So I hesitated for a long time before booking with ties because I travel a lot. And I could have booked this trip on my own. I really did hesitate. And I was worried about what a group travel experience might look like at my age. But I am so grateful that I came on this trip with Ties. In fact, I think that it provided me with a space that I didn't even know that I needed. I didn't know that I needed it. I knew that I needed help and that having some conversations might help. But I didn't know how much I needed a space where everyone shared the same story. And I can say for the first time in my life, I've been with this group of people who we just get each other. We all grew up with different backgrounds, but we all started the same. And that's huge. Feeling like part of the majority for the first time in my life is huge. The level of belonging and just fitting in and just getting people without having to explain myself or without having to appear grateful or show off my resilience just being me with this group of people. Is huge. And I'm so grateful for having met them that I can't wait to plan something else. And I'm actually thinking now that I need to come back on a Ties trip with my children, because my children are also part of this adoption story. And they're also part of this identity search, because they don't know what it means to be Indian.
Adoptees from the India Ties Kolkata trip with Ties Director Tanya Kaanta.
Bodhi, adoptee: I can't imagine doing a heritage journey without the support, love and kindness of the Ties program. Doing this solo would have left out a lot of intentionality that I felt was needed to experience a place where I come from, to experience India at my birthplace. And Ties helped facilitate that from the time I left my house in the States to the time I am heading to the airport in India. That whole process has been taken care of with such intention. Our guides have been incredible. Everything that we've seen has been remarkable and it has allowed us to experience things - it wasn't just go to this temple, go to this event, go do this. Everything connected to have a sense of identity and to have a sense of truly a journey that will continue beyond. Ties is just a way to simply tie you back to your roots. And I think that if you're considering it, if you're scared to do a Ties journey, just do it. I've had friends that went to their birth countries that were adoptees without a Ties program and they came back feeling less connected with even more questions. Versus with the Ties program, you have that built in support and that's something that I'm forever grateful for.
Join Us in India!
This winter, join us on our India Ties trip — a heritage experiences designed for international adoptees and their loved ones to explore, reflect, and connect with culture, history, and each other. From visiting local communities to engaging in meaningful cultural experiences, these trips provide a space to pause, discover, and deepen your sense of belonging.
Note: Early bird registration ends March 31st. Save $200 per person and visit our trip page to learn more, request info, or register today.
